The secrets of thoughtful gifting
It really is the thought that counts when it comes to gifting. We asked some of our favourite tastemakers to share their present-buying secrets
The first Christmas I spent with my boyfriend was at his mum’s place so I was already feeling a little bit out of sorts. Then out came the presents. I was genuinely worried that I wouldn’t like what he’d bought me – that he’d get me wrong somehow.
I needn’t have worried. The first present was a Nigella cookbook. Not groundbreaking but I was impressed he’d noticed that I liked watching her programme (we weren’t living together at this point). Then it got better – he’d also bought me the animal print knives Nigella uses because he’d remembered I’d mentioned them. Finally he bought me some bike boots for wearing on his motorbike when we went out for rides. Something to enhance an experience we could do together, and to keep me safe. All in all, very thoughtful indeed.
So why was I so pleased? It was the attention to detail – without wanting to sound too narcissistic, I liked the version of me that he was reflecting back. When somebody taps into the things you enjoy, it’s like a little love token, a way of saying, ‘I like this about you‘.
‘The secret to thoughtful gift giving is observing and listening’, says Ben Matthews, fashion consultant, who has worked with Alexa Chung, Browns and Net-a-porter and is an excellent gift giver. ‘It’s about “banking” ideas stealthily. Finding the ultimate gift involves channelling that person, working out their pleasure triggers and buying them a gift or experience they’d never buy for themselves.’ A recent gifting triumph of Ben’s was buying his Dad a model aircraft after he’d become really animated looking back at old photos from the 1970s when he used to fly planes.
‘Gifting inspiration can simply come from observing what people do in their daily lives and then figuring out how you can embellish those moments with something extra,’ explains Virginia Norris, co-founder and director of Aisle 8 Communications.
She says it’s not necessarily about buying the thing they’re passionate about, but something to complement it. So rather than, say, buying your green-fingered friend a book on gardening, buy them a beautiful china mug for them to sip their morning tea from while admiring their plant life and a note to go with it. That personal narrative is the icing on the gifting cake.
Another good way into this is to think about those gifts that you really loved receiving and ask yourself why did you love it so much? I think of a simple gold link chain that a friend bought me and I wear every single day precisely because it is an ‘everyday’ chain – this is sometimes better than a more dressy/precious piece.
Other fail-safe are quality home gifts. ‘Never underestimate a good-quality coffee maker’ says Alfred Tong, menswear writer and GQ columnist. ‘It saves time and lots of money.’
‘I also think a genuinely life changing thing that you can buy for men is a decent set of pillows, duvet and bed linen with a high thread count. I normally don't subscribe to the idea of everyday luxury but it definitely applies here.’
A thoughtful gift has even more meaning with the strange times we find ourselves in. ‘This has been a year where WFH and self isolating in small bubbles has led to us rediscovering DIY, arts and crafts and everything homespun’, says Jo Jones, fashion editor at The Observer. ‘All of which make great gifts for Christmas and can inspire new hobbies for 2021 – they’re gifts that keep giving.’
Try a spot of candle making with the House Of Crafts Beeswax Candle Making Kit or learn to embroider with the Rico Design Flower Tendril Table Runner Embroidery Kit. ‘There’s nothing more satisfying than learning a new skill and creating something from scratch’, says Jo. ‘I’m a big fan of Wool and the Gang. The gorgeous blanket kit is a perfect starting point for rookie knitters.’
Jo’s also a fan of jewellery collectables. ‘They make really thoughtful gifts. Start with a bracelet, then build a charm wardrobe inside a jewellery box. It’s personal and creates memories – you can add something new each birthday and Christmas.’ Or help a friend build their own spa-at-home ritual with indulgent pampering products to encourage them to have all-important me time.
Ready to get thoughtful? There’s still time to play sleuth with your friends and family and listen out for clues. Make a list, maybe in your phone, then keep adding to it and fleshing out your ideas. Wish Lists can really help. It all beats panic buying the week before when you’re much less likely to find something they’ll love and appreciate. After all, a little thought goes a long way.
